Description
Half Full: A Book About Contentment In A Discontent World – By Rabbi Pinchas Winston
Clearly that is not the question. The answer obviously is that it is both, half-full and half-empty, because you can’t have one without the other. The real question is, how do you personally relate to the half-filled cup, as half-full or as half-empty? That is, ultimately, what will determine if you are righteous or, well, let’s just say not so righteous.
Of course the answer may change from situation to situation. When I am eating something I am really enjoying or doing something that I don’t want to stop, and half of it is gone, I tend to see things in terms of what I don’t have left. But if I know that what I have was an unexpected and usually unmerited gift, then whatever I have left seems like a bonus.
More dramatically, this was written about the Jews who witnessed the destruction of the First Temple and who were then exiled to Babylonia:
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat, we also wept when we remembered Tzion. On willows in its midst we hung our harps. For there our captors asked us for words of song and our tormentors [asked of us] amusement, “Sing for us of the song of Tzion.” How shall we sing the song of God on foreign soil?” If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget [its skill]. May my tongue cling to my palate, if I do not remember you, if I do not bring up Jerusalem at the beginning of my joy. Remember, O God, for the sons of Edom, the day of Jerusalem, those who say, “Raze it, raze it, down to its foundation!” O Daughter of Babylon, who is destined to be plundered, praiseworthy is he who repays you your recompense that you have done to us. Praiseworthy is he who will take and dash your infants against the rock. (Tehillim 136)
This sounds very different than the people before all the destruction took place. Then they sounded arrogant, spiritually sloppy, unconcerned about their potential impact of their backsliding ways. They listened to the positive reports of false prophets over the foreboding prophecies of the true prophets, and even murdered Zechariah, in the Temple of all places, over his.
The good they had enjoyed apparently had not been good enough…until they had lost it all. Before the destruction they had lived the life of the half-empty cup, always wanting more than they had even though they already had more than enough. Once they lost it all they yearned even for a fraction of what they previously had.
There are many classic examples throughout history of how destructive the half-empty cup attitude can be, starting with Chava in the Garden of Eden. When the snake pointed out to her what she was missing, the Torah says:
And the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and the tree was desirable to make one wise. So she took from its fruit and she ate, and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. (Bereishis 3:6)
Instead, what she should have answered the snake was, “No thanks, I’m good. I have all I need, and besides, if and when God wants me to have more, He’ll give it to me. In the meantime, go tempt someone else to do the wrong thing!”
To be clear, it is not wrong to want or have more. If we didn’t we’d never really accomplish anything spectacular in life. What is wrong is to let the lack of more make it seem as if what you already have isn’t enough, because that doesn’t make an ambitious person, it makes a miserably resentful person who can’t even enjoy what they do have.
Ultimately, we will later see, it is the difference in approach to life of Ya’akov and Eisav. Eisav, no matter what, always only had a half-empty cup in life which denied him the ability to enjoy what he had. Ya’akov had a half-full cup attitude, and he could be happy with even small things. It made Eisav greedy and selfish. It made Ya’akov humble and content.
How one looks at a half-filled cup is so indicative of a person’s nature that it should be part of a test when deciding on future spouses, business partners, etc. Just show a person the half-filled glass and ask them, “What do you see?” If they answer a half-full cup then you know you are dealing with someone who appreciates what they have and probably has a generous spirit, essential for good relationships. If they say that they see a half-empty cup, then you know you are dealing with a complainer-drainer, not a good relationship person.
For a half-full cup person, happiness can be found in even the most miserable places. For a half-empty cup person, even happy times can be lacking. The questions are, how do you make sure a child grows to be the former, and, if someone grew up to be the latter, how, if it is even possible, can they cross the floor to the other side and get more out of life?
Those are the questions that inspired this book.
